Monday afternoon I told my Agnostic that I thought we ought to cool it for a while.. He's busy, I'm busy, life is getting in the way and I thought it would be best if we took some time to ourselves to figure out the next steps in our lives...
I was kind..
I was firm..
And, apparently, I was ignored..
Monday night, 14 texts and two phone calls..
Tuesday, 31 texts and 7 phone calls..
Tuesday night (after I told him I was going to dinner with friends) 5 more texts..
This morning, no texts, no phone calls.. Maybe he got the message..
Until 8:30.. Phone call. Chatting to me like nothing had been said and nothing had changed..
Because I had just finished this monster elliptical/stairmaster/bastard machine in the hotel gym, I was doing more breathing than talking (that machine is a beast!!) at first..
Then I asked, "What are you doing?" He replied that he was on his way to a meeting and went on talking about nothing.. So, I asked him to define what our communications are..
I am not kidding, he said the following, word for word..
"When I can, I call you.. When you want to talk to me, text me and I'll call if I can."
So, I told him to listen and tell me what he hears.. I repeated exactly what he said but only with me saying it..
Silence..
I asked if he was still there.. He said he was..
I asked what he heard.. Silence..
Then I asked just how selfish it sounded when I said it..
As I was just about to ask again if he was there still, he almost whispered "Very"
So, I proposed this.. We don't talk, text or email for the next week..
On Wednesday morning around 7:30, we'll talk..
That way it is scheduled.. And we all have time to think about our lives and maybe make some decisions.. He then did the one thing that I hate.. He was sniffling, crying.. He did agree that we wouldn't talk.. I told him that I wasn't doing this because I didn't love him.. I was doing it because I have to love myself as well.. And that I hope he understood.. He didn't reply.. I wrapped it up by saying that we'd talk next Wednesday morning.. He agreed.. Then I said goodbye and he did too...
I won't be calling him..
And there is a goodly part of me that hopes he doesn't call..
Sadly, there is a part that hopes he does..
2 comments:
Oh dear, I hope he evens himself out. The last thing you need is an overwrought man.
The worst part? I felt awful that what I had said upset him.
And after all that, there were 3 more texts after this conversation.... :-/
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