Ennui...

Merriam-Webster defines it as "a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction : boredom"
I define it similarly, but with a twist.. I am not bored.. To me boredom means that you just haven't gotten off your ass and tried to get things moving.. So, I'm rarely bored..
I do, however, regularly have a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction.. And I think that is entirely wrapped up in this seemingly never-ending search for gainful employment.. Either I'm over qualified and would be dissatisfied with the position or my resume gets kicked to the bottom of the pile because EVERYONE wants to move to my home state or others have been in the field longer and therefore are more qualified. Seriously, working in a male-dominated field, there are many times where I've had to fight the 'little lady' mentality..
So, I realize that my ennui is wrapped almost completely work-related and the affect it has regarding where I live..
DD is doing much better in school.. So far, all A's and B's with the occasional bad test because she's 9.. No tutors this year.. No real arguments about home work.. If she gets pissy about it, I tell her 'fine, turn in what you have and see how it goes..' She understands that the teaching /learning done at home is as important as that she gets sitting in class.. And she always straightens up and gets the homework done..
This makes me happy.. Even tho' it's sometimes like a face-off between two nuclear powers!
The Agnostic situation is pretty much 'meh' for me.. He calls, we chat.. He still calls/texts to tell me goodnight.. Every night.. That's led to an interesting situation a time or two.. :)
So, he's not really a source of joy or sadness..
The key is to just keep on working towards being back home.. I don't expect to 'go home again' because it's never the same as you left it.. Daddy's not there, I'm divorced, mom's aging, brother's in the midst of building his career.. It's a different place.. However, having my family nearby will be a minor source of relief for me (it's all me here, no back-up hardly at all).. That's a good thing... :)~
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On a lighter note - On Day 12 of keeping all of my resolutions.. Still exercising daily (5am in the morning! God help me!!), still following the 'path' with Weight Watchers, still eschewing cream in my coffee and still avoiding caffeine after lunch.. Oh, and I have no illusions that the weight loss this week will be akin to the amount I lost last week (the first week is always the best).. But hoping for a 4-ish pounds drop on Monday..
Wish me luck!! :)